There is a old saying - a daughther is a father's past life lover. Today , is my past life's lover 70th birthday =).
My father, is not the very typical 'father figure' type that is commonly portrayed in the text book but in some sense he is a very 'typical' kind of an old time Asian father- who work very hard raising the kids,fill every kids' stomuchs but share very little knowledge of the kids' mind.
This is a very special photo for my father and me.
This picture was taken during one of the very limited family outing i had during my childhood. I was probably in kinder garden, 6 / 7 years old the most, at Desaru, 1 event organised by the factory that my dad used to work. I can't recall there is any other time that we were so physically close. Sometimes memory works in a very strange way, believe or not, i can;t remember much details of that outing,except my father's hand, the feeling that he was holding me in the waves- the waves at Desaru was really strong, especially for a kid, what i remember is i really felt safe in my father arms and we were laughing...
i think this kind of strange memory from childhood is the experience that will eventually transcend into something beyond words -sort of like some unexplainable bond that we'll carries thru our life...
We always have this ' image' of a rightful father that, we would like our own father to fit in. I have to admit, i am not that kind of daughther who are madly in love with this past life's lover. Sometimes i tend to complain a bit ( instead quite a lot -p ) of this lover too. As father and daughther, we don't really talk much. Instead most of the times i even have to work hard to find a common topic. When i see some other daughthers who are really close to their fathers, both physically and emotionally, I have to confess, i do feel envy from time to time and secretly thinking ' why my father not like this and not like that..?'.. . But over the years, i have also learnt/ learning to accept my father as who he is , just as how he has accept this daughther of his ( actually i dun really know has he fully accepting me 100 % , i do hope but doubt so =). .. to learn to be at ease with the silence that lies between us, or even start to enjoys our ' wordless but comfortable stress-less moments' that are uniquely us.
My father is 70 years old this years. He is getting old... Unlike my mother, he is a much more a simple minded person. I used to complaint about his ' too simple mindedness' , but today, i wish he will be always happy in his 'simple' world for the rest of his life.
Happy Birthday to my father. 31 August, he shares same birthday as Malaysia !!
